I've been sick. For two weeks. TWO WEEKS. Yeah, not fun. I've been sounding like all the patients combined in an old-fashioned TB sanatorium. Iron lung, anyone?
So, I finally got to the "Express Care" yesterday and stopped at Meijer for some meds. Did I mention how much I HATE Meijer now? Twenty minutes turned into thirty, which turned into fifty. Fifty minutes to fill my prescription. Yeah, I coughed on everything I could find in a passive-aggressive rebellion, so make sure to wash your hands the next time you visit that store.
Now, during my slow demise and even slower return to the land of the living, I've had some very interesting (and strange) thoughts run through my mind:
1. What does the cough of a mute person sound like?
2. Why is the pharmacy usually located at the back of a store? Are the stores really equipped with medical personnel to resuscitate local TB patients? Next time you head to the pharmacy, take the most indirect route--someone may have coughed all over everything.
3. Is milk really necessary for cereal? I mean, it's usually at the back of the store, too
4. What can really be classified as dinner? If you serve your children healthy fruit, can that be a meal?
5. A vaporizer that quits working right after you replace the filter, fill the tank with water, plug it in, and climb in bed should be smashed into tiny pieces and the manufacturer should receive individual pieces in the mail every year, delivered directly to their home address, until their backyard looks like a scene from Narnia's icy kingdom.
6. Do people really notice how many days you wear the same outfit? I mean, I usually can't remember what I wore yesterday, except for the strewn remnants across my bedroom floor.
7. I really don't have a number 7. I just don't like the number 6.
Have a cough-free day, everyone!
