Writing/writer/struggling

All of the above words seem synonymous with the next. I've loved writing since the time I could form words into sentences. This love has spanned books (often read 2-3 times), prompted dictionary and thesaurus use, and has been a part of me that I always return to, no matter other interests that may arise. However, I'm yet to be "officially" published. Why? Here are some of my thoughts:

1. No follow through. I get started, and then I don't finish stories. Well, poetry and short stories, I can handle. Articles for school, I can handle. Writing just for me and finishing...not so much.
2. Too much on my plate, which causes #1. I'm a Christian wife, mother, teacher, tutor, student, writer, web blogger, website manager, homeschool volunteer, and artist (I started working with charcoal again last night--very relaxing!). So, until days become 37 hrs long, I need to learn to slow-down and not jump into everything headfirst.
   
3. Rejection hurts. There's no way around rejection as a writer. Yes, I have been rejected, and yes, it does hurt. I have to learn to not let it bother me as much, but who likes being told, "Don't waste our time." (They don't really say that; it's mostly a, "We can't use your story at this time. Thank you," kind of thing.
4. I love teaching. Honestly, I would rather teach writing than write sometimes. Weird, eh? Probably because it's easier, which leads me to #5:
5. Writing is hard. Really, really hard. You put your heart, your soul, your know-how, your time, your energy--everything you have goes into those words. Sometimes, those words just don't reflect what you really are, and then you are left searching for the right "fix-it", which may never come.
   
6. I can't find the right fit for my writing. I don't write obscene pieces with harsh language or violence, etc. Therefore, the normal nonfiction journal/magazine doesn't fit my pieces. Yet, my pieces are nonfiction, so they don't go into fiction mags/journals. They don't really seem "Christian-enough" to place into a Christian journal/mag, because they don't always center around a virtuous end-moral lesson. What to do, what to do...which leads me to #7:
   
7. I'm waiting on God's perfect will. Good enough for me.
   

Time? What Time?

Whew! I just finished tutoring for two hours and my last student was well....we just won't go there!

I had to change my tutoring hours around for next week because I'm filling in answering phones/performing office work for someone from church for the next two weeks. Honestly, the opportunity couldn't have come at a better time! DH's work schedule has been lacking lately, and bills just keep coming! I got a lovely bill for a radiologist from Lovely's hospital visit last summer, so I called this morning after praying profusely, and I was informed, "Oh, that was just a computer glitch. Just ignore it." Gee, thanks for the $194.00 heart attack! But I am sooo thankful that it worked out! I did keep some tutoring hours on, but I realized I may be working 48 hrs next week in addition to homeschooling, my school, housework, and DH's payroll! YIKES! Can someone say S-T-R-E-S-S?

I don't know how exercise will go the next two weeks, but I'm going to give it a shot. I've been doing well with it, but I ate at the Mexican joint for lunch (I ordered a taco salad, which is small, but still not great--although it had very little cheese and lots of guacamole), but we ordered pizza tonight at my hubby's request, so I had two slices and a glass of coke (eek!). I'll be cleaning my mom's house tomorrow, so I hope to burn off some more calories. I did exercise this morning before gym/art/music classes, and then I went for a walk while my oldest daughter biked around the neighborhood--those little legs were getting with it!

Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I've started yet another blog. I plan on designing my own layout/template, but I haven't had time (can you believe that?), so I'll have to get to it later. I will be offering a writing program, tutoring, and testing, catering to homeschool kids. I'm praying that this venture goes well! I know I was given my love of writing for a reason, I just have to find His perfect will in which to use it.

The Right Choice

Talk about amazing! I was just remarking in my last post my reasons for not wanting to teach where I had been teaching previously. Today I went onto Yahoo and I see an article from the NY Times discussing the amount of money trade schools are raking in, despite the low wages graduates will most likely earn after they finish school! That was one of my main problems with where I taught--students had it in their heads that they were going to go on and get a BA or an MA from another college, not knowing that their degrees wouldn't transfer. To top that, they were taking out huge loans that gave them no option but to keep attending school and finish--or face the $11,000 in debt from a year (or less) of school. Granted, I think employment in this area for the medical field would have more opportunities for these graduates, but I just didn't believe in what these "for profit" schools were teaching.

I have been thinking about designing a writing program for homeschool students for a while now, and I've been praying about it. I have decided to take the plunge and I'm in the process of creating one, using state standards, but making it fun! Hopefully, I can work from home, encouraging students who actually want to learn, or at least value learning. I hope to have a website up this summer....we'll see :D

Meanwhile, on the weight front, I didn't gain anything and I have been following WW pts the past couple days. Yes, I've had at least two recipe flops, according to my darling husband, so I need to find some recipes with a bit more flavor. I have a favorite or two that he likes, but I'm quickly losing out....