Venting and Dumping and Just Being an Emotional Pregnant Woman

I'm sure no one wants to listen to my emotional rants (I'm talking to you, my 8 followers!), but I do need to just type right now...just type...so please excuse my less-than-upbeat report.

My last ob appt. showed an over-7 lb baby girl in my tummy, twisting and kicking and pushing and pulling.  Let's just say, she's pretty big and I can definitely tell.  My c-section date has been set for Dec. 12, so her birthday will be 12/12/13, kinda neat.  They of course scheduled me for "c-section teaching and a tour of the hospital" for Monday, which they always tell me includes blood work.  However, I'm on to them and I know they can't do the blood work more than 24 hrs in advance--that's what they told me last year.  I know where everything is, and they should have everything on file from last year, so i.e., I won't be attending.

In other goings on, I wrote/put together three skits and three poems for Lovely's Thanksgiving Day Luncheon.  Let's just say, I won't be doing that again.  I spent hours making them.  I spent lots of time driving to school and practicing.  However, all the promises her teacher made me were broken--I said I would make copies of all the skits for the kids to know when they spoke, but the teacher said she would do it so I wouldn't feel like I was doing everything.  I was going to have the kids make hats at home, but the teacher said she would do it in class with them.  I was going to have them wear bathrobes for one of the poems and put together a few simple props for them.  The teacher agreed.  None of this happened.  Then, part of my skit was changed because although water was not drunk very often on the Mayflower, we weren't allowed to tell what was, and then the last part of that person's lines was completely taken out, so the end of my skit made no sense.  Yay. I did get a thank you note the following day signed by all the students in my daughter's class, so that made me feel a bit better about all the help.  I think it's just extra difficult right now, feeling as I do with a belly out to yonder, so I'm extra sensitive about everything.

All of the above, added to my experience with Snugglebug's class (I had signed up for a job for her Thanksgiving Feast that another mother just took over without even acknowledging me, so I then opted to do nothing.  Absolutely nothing), has made me very irritated with school.  Along with their horrible math program, common core reading standards, interpersonal relationships of 3rd grade, and...well, let's just say I'm seriously investigating other options for next year.

Then, today I woke up and found S, along with our new vehicle, gone.  I had asked him last night what he was doing today and he told me he didn't know.  Guess he did.  Anyway, I had made plans for washing carseats, which I now can't do, and I haven't the slightest ambition or amount of energy to clean the house like it really needs.  If I was a stay-at-home wife/mother and didn't work as much as I do extra, then I would totally understand him getting away and not helping out today.  However, I do work outside the home and I do take care of all appts, homework, housework, bills, etc. and I just can't take it anymore. Maybe it's the hormones again.  I'm just tired and not sure what to do now.

Anyway, there are only 19 days to go.  Guess I should pack a hospital bag, if only I could find a bag in this mess of a house :/

The Little Things...Add Up Quickly!

Hello!  As of three minutes from now, there should be approximately 23 days left of this pregnancy!  Yipee!  It's not that I don't like being pregnant, it's that, well, I realllly don't like being pregnant!  You know how there are those joyful, can't-wait-for-my-belly-to-become-bigger, lovin' every minute of it kind of pregnant ladies?  (You know who you are!)  Well, I've never, never been one of those.  I was sick a lot with Lovely, but still was able to gain about 34 lbs.  Snugglebug was mean and painful the entire time in my stomach, and once again, I gained about 34 lbs.  Laeah was wonderful--until I developed gestational diabetes and anything bad I even looked at sent my sugar through.the.roof. Also, I could barely eat with her (just never felt I had room), so I only gained 15 lbs.  I also had several infections with her. This one...this one has been the kicker. She has been soooo painful (like Snugglebug), yet I'm practically never full--Seriously, I can have the thought, "Man, I am stuffed!" and two minutes later I feel a hunger pang in my stomach.  I've had a stuffy nose, headache, back-ache, cough for what seems like months now, and I have gestational diabetes.  Let's just say, my body is tired! 

In other news, Laeah stands by herself a lot lately.  She often will take one step...and then tumbles down to her bum.  I've told her she's on a schedule, and it seems she's trying to comply, but it's just not happening as quickly as I would like it to happen.  I know she'll be too heavy for me to lift after the baby comes, so I am worried about that. 

In even stranger news, I bit the bullet and bought two cloth diapers. What?  Yes, I did. I did because I keep seeing the receipts of the disposable pieces of "let's just let all her clothes get wet/stained because we can't handle two hours between changes" diapers.  So, we'll see if I can shell out more money once I try these to see how I like them.

In terrific news, we finally found a new (old) vehicle.  It was in a state away, so it was a nice, long drive, but it's just what we wanted/needed.  My current vehicle seats 7, but not 5 and 2 infant/baby seats.  Laeah is extremely small (still only 18 lbs), so she needs to remain backwards for a while yet, and my current car just can't accommodate.  We bought a Yukon XL that seats 7 but has captain's chairs, so it has an easy pass-through.  I named it Cornelius :D  It has a lot of miles, but they have to be all highway because the interior is in such good condition! 

Lastly, I went yard shopping today and printed a new Ravelry pattern for a baby blanket.  Only one of my students made a blanket for Laeah, so it's up to me to make one for this baby.  I've been missing crocheting, so I hope to have a bit more time to work on it. 

The Extremely Clumsy Emotional Train Wreck

Yes, that is me.  I've reached the stage where I fall, trip, and run into anything and everything, as well as drop anything that goes near my hands (with the exception of Laeah thus far, thankfully!).  I also get easily agitated and then cry over everything.  In other words, I'm likely not the most fun at the party right now :P 

I'm also moving as slowly as a turtle...or possibly slower.  I did move faster than a slug the other night.  I walked into our kitchen and suddenly felt something slimy between my toes...Ewww!  I screamed, and S said, "Awww.  Poor slug; I wouldn't want to be between your toes, either."  That actually made me laugh instead of cry, so I guess I'm not too bad yet.  I did bawl tonight when I realized S had jumped in the shower I was so looking forward to, and because we haven't replaced our hot water heater, I knew it would be another hour before I could take my shower, so then my hair would be wet for bed, and I have a head cold, and...I better stop before my eyes become misty! 

Speaking of kitchens, I tripped last night and almost fell over, but my knuckles caught our dining room chairs.  I had managed to keep swelling down this entire pregnancy, and so I was still able to wear my wedding rings...until last night.  I hit THAT finger.  And it immediately swelled and turned purple.  AND I think I jammed my arm some how because I can only raise it thiiiiiis much.  Oh, the fun! 

Now, as for the new baby.  We're still debating middle names.  In fact, it was only yesterday that I thought, "Man, I am so glad we named Laeah _______.  I REALLY love her name."  Yes, mind you, it only took a year.  So, who knows when I'll really love the next name.  I am a little more calm about not having a space for her.  I bought a used crib that was delivered yesterday, so I have that, although I don't have a place to set it up yet.  I'm really looking forward to having a bigger home one day in which I don't want to leave it. I may just become a hermit.  Eh, I'll save gas that way, right?

Speaking of gas.  We've been looking around at other vehicles because smart me bought the biggest car seats available (Ok, they had the best head/neck support, which won me over), and so the next seat for Laeah really doesn't fit in our 7 passenger car.  Go figure.  I would like a Suburban, but we'd have to get a pretty old one, and I'm afraid of the gas mileage.  Therefore, we've broken down and begun looking at minivans.  However, if I'm going to be stuck with a minivan, I want a nice one.  I've only approved of Honda Odysseys right now, but they're pretty pricey as well.  So, we'll see what the Lord has in store for us. 

In school news, I believe I'll request the teacher who doesn't require a lot from his students for Lovely, and supplement with my own math program at home.  I'm tired of dealing with their math worksheets that never make any sense anyway.  So, I'll give it 1-2 more years, and then we'll likely homeschool through middle school and high school.  Unless I'm moved to take the girls out of school sooner.  Whatever is His perfect will.

Now, I better get off to bed.  Laeah will be one year old on Tuesday, and although I'd love to have a party for her, I just don't know how to do it.  One grandparent is in the hospital, one is in a wheelchair and rarely leaves home, and one doesn't drive in the dark.  Cousins are all a minimum of 10 yrs old or older, and the only close friends I have with children her age live out of state.  Wow.  It really is good I'm having this next baby, or Laeah would have been all alone.  (sigh)  G'nite!