My Child Doesn't Answer Questions in Class...It Must Be ADHD

Did you know if your child doesn't answer questions well in front of other children, or a particular teacher, s/he is automatically thrown into the pile of ADHD cases that are bombarding our country?  Although grades are overall terrific (A+ in most subjects, a C in spelling because Mommy forgot to sit down and make someone study), because she can't respond well when put on the spot, she has now been referred to the special ed teacher. 

Let me begin again.  My eldest had problems last year and absolutely hated going to school.  This year, she loves school, loves learning, and loves her teacher (despite the teacher's insistence of putting punctuation marks outside the quotation marks no matter the context).  She tells me now that she never understood her teacher last year--my second child's current teacher.  You know.  The special ed referral?

Last year, I took Lovely to the doctor to ask about ADD.  I was informed my insurance wouldn't cover any tests that would ever say she didn't have ADHD/ADD, thus I was handed a "mild" prescription.  I chose not to medicate, found some natural alternatives, and Lovely is doing wonderfully this year.  Yes, she has math tutoring, but I don't call A's and B's bad grades, and so long as she loves learning, that is was matters to me.  Any more talk of ADD?  Nope. 

So, once again, I'm researching ADHD.  I'm told she meets several of the criteria for ADHD.  Here are some examples from a few checklists:

• Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.  
• Avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to perform tasks that require sustained mental attention (homework, chores, etc.)
• Is easily distracted by outside stimuli 

Follow this link if you want to see the tests yourself--they're basically all the same:  http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/adhd/l/bl_adhd_quiz.htm

Just me, or do most children meet these criteria at some point?  I completely see why so many boys are told they have ADHD.  Seriously. 

Personally, I feel it's a bad fit with the teacher.  I like the teacher as a person (although I'm pretty irked by some of the things that have passed through the grapevine), but because neither of my children seem to understand her teaching style, worries have set in for next year. 

I like my girls' school overall, but I completely disagree with this--and I disagree with the ethics--I was told about this referral from a family member who works at the school, not the actual special ed teacher; she has yet to contact me. 

So now I'm rethinking the whole homeschool thing.  I thought I could leave the girls in school at least until 4th grade, but now I'm not so sure.  Ironically, I'm thinking of leaving my oldest in school because she is doing so well and I know which teacher she will have next year.  Not sure about 2nd grade.

Perhaps I'm burying my head in the sand and there are more symptoms that I don't see.  I don't know.  Perhaps it's just because I was always in advanced classes, etc., and so I can't accept that my children don't meet those standards.  However, if I can't recognize ability, then what does that say about my own ability?  

On a lighter note, Lovely was telling me how she would plan on retaliating if someone did something bad to her.  I told her she's supposed to treat people how she wants to be treated, so she reasoned it out:  If the other person was cruel, that means that person wants to be treated cruelly.  Hmmm....I never thought about it like that!