Obviously, I have been trying not to think about the weight thing. Obviously, that is impossible, but not impossible not to write about it!
I have been bad...very, very bad. My brother & family were in town for a while, and we went out to eat A LOT and had some family dinners as well. Now, I'm nervous about starting my new job and classes, so my mind hasn't been on cooking, and we've still been eating out a lot...not good. I did find I hate Stevie B's--- can I just have grease on a platter, please? But I also learned I LOVE Moe's--I can't believe I didn't try it sooner! Fresh & yummy, and fast!
Now, today is my 7 year wedding anniversary with Hubby, so we are headed to the Melting Pot. I've never been, but I've always wanted to try it. Hopefully, I won't over-do anything, and hopefully, he'll realize fondue isn't a bad thing.
Now, time for some random thoughts....
I want to move to a bigger house, but I feel like nothing gets done around here to make that possible.
I feel we have no $$ to make that possible.
I know ALL things are possible, but I wonder what's in His perfect will.
I wonder if I'm done having children and should sell every baby thing I've stored in my mom's basement.
I wonder if I'm a bad mommy for thinking about sending my kids to school.
I wonder if other people will think I'm a bad mommy if I send my kids to school.
I wonder why I care if other people will think I'm a bad mommy.
I wonder why I'm so torn about homeschooling lately.
I wonder how I can better organize my house.
I wonder how often I'm going to cook during the next 10 months of work/school.
I wonder how I will face my dirty house day in and day out.
I wonder what the ultimate outcome of my degree will be.
I wonder if I should take a couple more classes just to become high school teacher certified, in case we send the girls to school so I can teach at the same school.
I wonder why I have this incessant drive to work, to try to control my circumstances, when I know who is really in control of everything and that it's better that way.
I wonder if it all stems from when my father passed away....which is what I'm sure any good therapist would say--if there was such a thing---lol
I wonder how I was able to write "lol" at the end of that sentence. Just another sign of my twisted sense of humor...
Ok, I think I see why I'm a little distracted of late. Keep me in your prayers!
you're not a bad mommy for wanting to send your kids to school. You work/go to school so its not wonder you think you need to send them. I'm sure i'd think the same thing if i worked and or went to school myself. Same thing goes for the house. =) I homeschool and dont work and my house is still never clean. I take that back...its only clean about twice a month and that's usually if I'm having company or Trevor is home to help me, and then we dont do school. =)
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing:( Thats alot to have on your mind at once. Although that is the story of my life:)
ReplyDeleteKeep one thing in mind though..you have to do for your family what you and Steve feel lead to do..end of story. The schedule you are taking on with school and work and a HUGE deal when you add homeschooling to the mixture...especially if you will be instructing your babysitter and what to do(your mom I am assuming)
I would feel better for you if you put them in school. Remember...one year at a time. You may not be working next year so that means your little girls would be in school for 1 year! Not so bad.
The Lord will provide and make a way:)
Thanks for your thoughts! I'm hoping today's school day goes better with Lovely. I'm sending Snugglebug to preschool, but that's only two days per week and she wants to work on stuff while I'm doing school with Lovely, and since she's so fast, it's taking a lot of effort to keep her occupied.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to send Lovely to the schools around here, so unless something opens up at the charter school, it looks like I'll keep plugging away at homeschool, just helping her learn as much as I can. At this rate, if something opened up at the charter school for next year, I'd still highly consider it, even if I wasn't working--homeschooling just gets that frustrating for me sometimes! Why is it easier to teach other people's kids than my own?! And yes, my mom has already said she doesn't "do" school, so Lovely will only be able to do some reading and a few worksheets with her, and I don't blame my mom--she doesn't need that stress, either!
Steven said he'll help with laundry and dishes (he said before we married he didn't do dishes, period), so perhaps I'll receive more help....Thanks for your prayers!
You will be in my prayers...we don't always know the answers....we just have to keep plugging away and as we go the doors will open. There's many things in our lives that we don't understand until way down the road...and there's some we will never understand until we reach the Other Side. Just when you think you can't do any more look to HIM- He is our constant Strength.
ReplyDelete"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31