Smiles and Giggles

Here is our sweet little one smiling up at Daddy.  She began giving real smiles (i.e. awake, not caused by gas) at the start of four weeks, but I didn't have a camera on hand until seven weeks.  I caught her giggling at me this week as I walked past, and yesterday I heard her laughing at the yellow starfish on the mobile above her swing--it makes me laugh in turn!  She's had a lot of painful belly aches from everything I eat--milk, cheese, caffeine, chocolate, spicy foods--so I'm really at a loss regarding what I can eat without bothering her.  I'm trying to remain healthy and think of what she needs, but it gets difficult!  I'm hoping I can broaden my palette after her stomach matures a bit.  I want to nurse for as long as possible with her, but I only last until about 9 mos with Lovely and 6 mos with Snugglebug.  Well, it was a little longer, but I was basically supplementing with my milk, it was so little.  I even had a nightmare last night that I could no longer feed her! 

I'm in the process of finishing up her nursery, but I need to decide on wall color.  The bottom half is painted in sage, which I don't want to change, so I'm debating what will match above.  Her nursery set is sage/off white/brown with woodland animals, and the carpet is tan, but I plan on adding a rug.  I'm also shopping for a rocker/glider/recliner--decisions, decisions!  I'm terrible at them!

Only a little over a week and I'll begin my spring class.  I'm only teaching one class, so I'll only be gone from Little Bit about 4 hrs total per week; I don't think I could handle more than that!  And my house is finally getting clean again since I get 6-7 hrs sleep every other day (4-5 hrs on bad nights).  Although, we finally got a good snow (around 4-5 inches), so my wood floors are getting pretty dirty again from certain little girls tracking in the house!

Merry Christmas to you!  Any New Year plans?

The New Arrival!

Introducing our newest addition:

She's screaming at Daddy

Lovely is adoring her and thinks she's the best thing ever.

Snugglebug holds her once and says, "Ok, I've held her.  Here."

In her carseat that I LOVE.

Sweet piggie-toes

S gave me three dozen roses for the three girls I've given him.  I also got flowers from the store S contracts through.

I haven't come up with a good blogger name for our sweetie yet.  In fact, it took us three days to decide on her actual name.

Birth Story:

I had been having contractions off and on for weeks, but there were becoming more common. However, God must have thought it all right that she be born on the day I picked, so I got up that Monday, dropped the girls off at school, and then got ready to go to the hospital.  They took me back to triage and placed me under a blow-up warming blanket, which was pretty awesome. I was also given boots to help with blood flow, and a few anti-nausea meds.  The IV was pretty painful, and all in all, I was a lot more anxious than the other two times because they had happened so quickly--this was more of a wait.  I had a spinal this time instead of an epidural, so my legs went numb almost immediately.  I didn't care for the pain of the needle, but I expected it.  I could breathe just fine this time, and I actually felt the push on my stomach from the doctor pushing the baby out (I hadn't felt this in the past).  I was able to see her immediately and thought, "No.  She doesn't look like a Juliet (one of the many names we considered)."  

After stitching and cleaning me up, they took me to the observation area and after testing baby's blood sugar, which was low, I was given her to nurse. Thankfully, the body heat and nursing increased her blood sugar enough so that she didn't need supplements.  She weighted 8 lbs, 5.7 oz, and she was 21.5 inches long.  Dark blonde hair and long fingers and toes.  She looks just like the other girls, but in her own way, oddly enough.  She cried as soon as she was out of my belly. 

I wasn't released from the hospital until Thursday afternoon, by my own choosing.  I needed the extra day to rest.  I loved all of my nurses, but I was glad this was my third child because of the immodesty the hospital required with the nurses (nothing offensive, all medical related, but probably bothersome to someone very shy). Although I had avoided this hospital in the past, I actually liked it just as well if not better than the hospitals across the river--except for the horrid food.  I took my medications on time so I would be able to walk better each time I tried, but I was (and still am) pretty sore at times.  

Now, two weeks later, she is still keeping me up a lot (less than five hours sleep per night on average), but I adore her.  I gave her tummy time last night and she rolled over--it appears she doesn't like tummy time!  She nurses about ever 2-3 hours, including all night long.  She has lots of sleep and gas induced smiles, and she becomes more aware every day.  Amazing how I had thought Snugglebug would be my last one and now I'm thinking, "How can this be my last one?  Don't I want one more...maybe?"  Of course, my body will be recovering for a long time to come.  Prayers were answered:  my blood sugar went down after I had her.  However, my blood pressure skyrocketed, so I'm on bp medication, hopefully just until my 6 wk check up.  I've already lost 27.5 lbs, although I had only gained 15 lbs while pregnant, so that's exciting.  I tried to put my wedding rings back on, though, and my fingers are still swollen, so I'm hoping that just means there's more to lose!

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

The day is finally almost here!  I'm tired, excited, anxious...every emotion you can possibly feel are shooting off like fireworks right now.  I'm sure it's hormones. 

I'm to arrive at the hospital at 10 a.m. tomorrow and the c-section is to take place at 11:30 a.m.  It's a "rooming in" hospital, meaning only sick babies are supposed to be in the nursery, which is a little disconcerting.  By no means do I want a sick baby, but I've had two children--sleep is important, and sometimes that requires sending the baby back to the nursery for a little while!  I will need to be alone part of the time when S has to pick up the girls for and from school, but I'm supposed to be released either Wed. or Thurs. afternoon. 

We are still at a standstill for names.  S doesn't like Adelaide, Adelae, or Adeline.  He likes Juliet more than those names, which isn't my favorite, but I'm getting desperate.  I liked Lydia, but I'm not crazy about the meaning.  I've always liked Isabella and S said he did, too, but once again, that name is #3 in the country for popularity and I wanted to be a little different this time.  We'll have to come up with something!  

In other news, the nursery is still an office.  Who else will likely bump their newborn's head on a pair of deer antlers?  Who else has arrows sprawled out from deer to deer, right above the changing table?  What?  I'm the only one?  Are you sure?  Perhaps they'll get moved tonight.  Perhaps not.  We'll see. 

Oh (excuse the poor transition), Lovely turned 8 last month.  We went to a movie the day before her birthday and she got the Lego Friends "Olivia's House" as her present.  She said it was the best birthday ever--even better than last year when I slaved over a party and invited her entire class to it.  That'll teach me.  Give some Legos = Get more rest. 

Speaking of rest...I need to get some attendance/participation grades entered and then I need to get some rest for tomorrow.  I took my last (hopefully) insulin shot this morning!  Yay! 

November 5th

At my 35 week appt, I was told to pick a day.  Pick a day?  I have difficulty picking shampoo, let alone the date my child is going to celebrate for the rest of her life!  I always felt that is God's job, not mine, so I'm praying if I picked wrong, something will happen and the baby will be born on the "right" day.  Honestly, I've always had some issues with November birthdays because their sign and mine don't mesh well.  Out of 16 days, I could only choose 3, 2 of which the doctor knocked out because he doesn't deliver on Wednesdays.  Thus, we arrived at November 5th. 

I admit, I feel a bit hypocritical considering it wasn't that long ago that I posted a link telling how you should let babies "bake" for as long as possible, yet here I am, having mine at a little over 38 wks.  Of course, I have the diabetes issues, and my blood sugar was out of wack all day yesterday.  Who else increases their insulin only to have their blood sugar spike?  Raise your hands...please?  Actually, I took it on my middle finger of my left hand yesterday  morning and it said 133 (should be under 95).  I then took it on my ring finger of my left hand and it said 113.  I reported the 113, of course.  I can only guess my circulation is messed up because I can take my sugar on three fingers and get readings that vary by 30-40 pts.  Boy, am I looking forward to ice cream and caramel after the birth...just a little.

In other plans, Lovely will be turning 8 in two weeks.  I haven't decided what to do, because I'm a little fearful of celebrating her birthday right before my due date.  I guess if something happens, we'll just have to do it after the baby's born.  They will be 8 yrs and 8 days apart...kinda cool. 

33 Weeks and Counting

Weekly non-stress test:  Check.  Blood pressure:  132/72--not bad at all for this late in the game.  Weight:  1 lb lost.  Total weight gained:  8 lbs.  Aches and pains:  Hips are killing me.  Blood sugar:  closer to range, but the fasting number is still way off.  Insulin has been increased and diet has been re-arranged in the evening, but it doesn't seem to be helping that number.  I'm told that's because as the pregnancy progresses, the amount of whatever I'm producing to inhibit the insulin increases as well.

I did have a scare yesterday.  I forgot my mid-afternoon snack and went 4.5 hrs without eating.  I began to feel extremely bad and shaky, only to find my sugar was 69.  I drank some orange juice and waited.  Checked my blood again--65.  I took a sugar pill and checked again:  59.  Drank 1/2 cup of skim milk and my sugar finally started rising...too much.  Although I was hungry and it was time for dinner and my next insulin injection, I waited because my right hand said 170 and my left hand said 140 (which is another oddity of my body--my sugar can be as much as 30 pts different, depending on the finger I check).  It went back to normal range after I finally ate dinner, but I felt awful before that and probably scared Lovely because I had to remind her what to do if I passed out, etc. 

Although I'm still opposed to having a c-section as early as 38 wks, I am wondering how much longer this can go on.  I have contractions almost nightly, so I doubt I'll be able to schedule it when I want anyway (which is kind of OK because I want God to choose the birthday, not me).  We'll see.  Until next week, and the next stress test...

Gestational Diabetes Running Wild

I was going to post a shocking picture of what I have to do everyday in order to try to control this disease, but I believe the battery is dead on my iPod...so the imagination will have to suffice. 

I have met with an in-home nurse twice and I'm called almost daily by the diabetes nurse to whom I must report all of my blood sugar testing results.  Here's what I've found, since no information online seems to coincide with what I've been directed to do:

Morning routine:  Check ketones (sp?) each morning.  Check fasting blood sugar.  Target range w/o insulin:  60-95.  Do not go more than 8-10 hours at night without eating.  Eat breakfast.  Wait two hours.  Check blood sugar again.  Target range w/o insulin:  100-129. 

Additionally, I'm to eat a mid-morning snack, lunch, a mid-afternoon snack, dinner, and an evening snack.  I'm to check my blood sugar two hours after each meal. 

Believe it or not, I was following the very strict diet of counting starches, veggies, meats, fats, milks, and fruits.  I was following the diet as closely as possible.  Result:  My numbers were all over the board.  I could eat the same thing three days in a row, at the same time, starting with around the same fasting number, and yet I'd end up with 50 pts or more difference.  My numbers often skyrocketed into the mid-200s range, which is not good considering I would have been sent to the hospital had it hit 300.  A nurse had initially come to my house to explain all of this, and so I felt like a complete failure when nothing seemed to be working.  After about four days on this diet with no improvement and out of control numbers, I was told I would have to be placed on insulin.

I don't know about you, but I had only known gestational diabetes patients who controlled it with diet, not insulin.  This was scary.  Honestly, it's still scary.  When I opened the cardboard box on my doorstop and saw 100 needles staring up at me, tears streamed down my face.  How would I be able to handle it?  How would I be able to do this for nine more weeks?  Would this even help?

The nurse arrived at my house a week later to show me how to administer the injections.  Oddly, the best place to inject is in your abdomen, which made me freeze.  I was expected to stick a needle right next to where I continually feel kicks and punches from the life forming within me?  Yes, that was the expectation.  Again, I cried.  I did it, but I cried.  The next morning, I cried.  I did it, but I cried.  

How many times must I use insulin?  Three times per day.  That is a minimum of needles going in me seven times per day.  I told S not to squeeze me too tight when he hugged me; fluid might start to leak everywhere from all of the holes I've poked into my body. 

So far, my numbers have been much better, some actually approaching the bottom of the range.  I'm still expected to follow a strict diet and I'm not expected to gain anymore weight; in fact, I may lose weight.  I now look at my plate and almost (note: almost) snicker at the irony:  as a kid, I would never eat veggies, especially those cooked.  I would never eat fish.  No way would I drink a diet Coke (I know--not the greatest choice considering the artificial sweetener, but think of drinking only water--11 glasses per day, I might add--for nine weeks), and yet I've learned lime removes most of the aftertaste and gives it a better flavor.  Oddly, I can't eat many of the suggestions made for diabetics when I do searches online.  Milk and fruit are no-no's in the mornings.  No juice unless my sugar is too low, and even then, only 1/2 cup.  Most breads still spike my sugar. 

Another thing I've learned is that although I felt a little "off" once my numbers evened out, I now feel better and have a little more energy.  I don't feel quite as emotional (which may explain a certain previous post of a raging pregnant lady).  I had no idea what had happened to my body without me even knowing it.  I'm told again and again that this is not my fault; my hormones are just going wild and there's nothing I can do by myself.  Don't buy into the myth this only happens to heavier people, either; I've read lots of stories now about people living on organic food, exercising, and maintaining a healthy weight, only to be told they have gestational diabetes.  Once again, I've learned I'm not in control, but I know He is. 

Gestational Diabetes

I was told today that I didn't have to take the dreaded 3 hr glucose test because I had failed the 1 hr so miserably.  I was immediately recommended for sugar testing and education (not sure exactly what that means, but I'm sure I don't have time...).  I decided to do my own research and looked up the effects and treatment, which in all honestly, I never thought would be so scary.  Then the comments from people who had stillbirths didn't help.  I know God is in control, but human emotion is ever present.  (As if anyone couldn't tell from my last post.)

I guess this is just the icing on the cake since I've been dealing with insurance companies, a collection agency that insists I owe a bill that is covered by my insurance, my four jobs, and all the house stuff.  I'm finally feeling overwhelmed enough that, although I've never been a quitter, I feel like I need to stop doing one of my jobs.  I subbed today for 1/2 a day, and it really wasn't bad. But then I went to my 70 minute tutoring session with a student who just refused to hear me.  That stressed me.  I had told her mother I would continue to tutor her this semester, but I'm wondering how worth it it really is--and if it's worth jeopardizing health over it.  I'll be in prayer.

I looked at the diet for GD and I just don't know what to do. Other than cutting out soft drinks completely, I don't know what to eat.  I don't have time to make meals (which is a problem, I know), but there are so few things I eat as it is.  I don't drink milk except in cereal, both of which I've been told to cut out.  I don't eat cookies, cakes, chips, or candy.  I have a little ice cream about once every 1-2 weeks.  I like bread, but it's usually whole wheat for a sandwich.  I don't eat much pasta because tomato sauce gives me heartburn and I don't want the fat of alfredo.  Honestly, I've only gained about 10.5 lbs so far and I only have about 10 weeks to go.   I'm afraid a dietician is only going to tell me I'm allowed this many carbs and this much fat, etc.  I don't count that kind of stuff--it's like I have a brain block. I need actual menus. 

Bye, Bye Facebook

I know I had recently thought, "Why on earth do people suddenly decide to quit FB?" And the more I thought about it, honestly, the more tempting it became.  I'm sure I'll be back (sound familiar, Allison? lol  Please don't call me a copycat!), but I'm not sure when.

So why did I do it (I know I'm talking to a practically empty room, so let me better understand myself)? I needed to find some strand of sanity without the water well of tears that seems to always lurk behind this pregnant woman's emotions (we are a very teary-eyed bunch, you know, crying at everything from a shirt no longer fitting to not being able to find the brand of cereal we like in the grocery store...ok, maybe not THAT bad).  Anyway, it seemed like with every post I read and every post I posted, I got a little more teary-eyed.  I know I'm not supposed to envy others, but I honestly wonder what I did/do to so many to see dinner invitations, parties, vacations with friends--and I'm never included.  Apparently, my sick sense of humor is to blame, or my lackluster enthusiasm over _________ (fill-in the blank).  Maybe on one phonecall or another, I seemed distant or sullen, which was really a slight distrust coursing through the phoneline, wondering how I'll be excluded once again.  Or, perhaps my hubby is to blame (as he always tells me).  Nevertheless, I feel like a tag-along.  You know, that friend who just happens to be at the basketball game so you manage to say, "Hi, how are you?" but you keep going before I can answer entirely, yet I continue to follow you around the stands, hoping to strike up meaningful conversation.

Maybe my feelings are just extra hurt lately, but I'm tired of long-distance relationships with people who live 20-30 minutes away.  I know you're busy, I know I'm busy, but what's the harm in at least a voice mail if one of us doesn't pick up the phone?  I've called, I've had people over for dinner, I've texted, and I've emailed--and as far as I can remember, I'm always the last to do so (and in the case of dinner, the only to do so, with the exception of one far-away friend).  I was in a car accident (granted, not a large one), but having those contractions scared me.  The miserable pain the next day scared me.  Who called?  My mom's friend in Pennsylvania to make sure everything was all right. 

Perhaps I'm blaming the wrong things for these feelings.  I admit, I feel like I'm drowning in my own house with so much to do and no where to even put a baby...seriously.  I know people used to live in one-room houses, but I just don't know how to go about it and I can't move furniture (or deer heads) myself, so I'm just stuck...I do find it interesting how so many people (whom I've actually spoken with) said, "At least you'll have plenty of girl stuff for this baby since you already have girls."  Really?  Do other people honestly keep everything from nearly 7 years ago?  Stained and soiled?  I am thankful I kept as much as I did, because I've already spent at least $700 on baby stuff--crib, dresser, carseat, stroller, clothing, etc.  And as much as I don't feel like getting up tomorrow (Saturday) to go to work, I know I have to in order to pay for all of the above, and the diapers I need to begin accumulating.

Perhaps the crux of the matter is the young guy who rear-ended me but lied and said I had already "slammed the brakes" and hit the car in front of me and THEN he couldn't stop so he hit me.  Honestly?  LIAR.  I at first gave him the benefit of the doubt until I realized he was on the phone with his dad and then asked if I wanted to file a claim, and then the police showed up and he gave his statement.  Seriously?  Lying about a car accident with a pregnant teacher?  How low can someone be?  The insurance agent already warned me that his insurance may refuse to pay because of that statement.  One word:  Pray.

Then, I went to the doctor today, and although my bp was wonderful (114/60), I have another infection.  I was told a prescription would be called in.  It wasn't.  Did you know they don't page doctors for prescriptions?  So even though it was the doctor's office's fault, I have to wait until Tuesday to get it straightened out.

Next, I was standing in line at Meijer and a woman actually cut in line ahead of me in all my prego belly glory.  I admit, I thought a few mean thoughts and gave a few mean looks.  And then I realized one day I will probably just explode and the white uniform men will have to lock me away.  Maybe this is my explosion?  An explosion of text dripping with tears and emotional hormones.

I feel so much better since writing this, and yet I'll probably chicken out and delete this post within a few minutes.  Writing takes guts, though, and good writing takes guts and honesty.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying this is good writing, but it may eventually lead to it....if the padded cell allows me to use pen/paper/laptop. 

Just What I Needed {Ya, Right}

Sorry--this post won't be tooo positive today (although I don't know that there's anyone left reading them anyway!).  I started back at work yesterday:  taught two classes and tutored.  While leaving campus for the day, I ended up being rear-ended and pushed into the guy in front of me.  It doesn't look like there's a bunch of external damage, but who knows.  The teenager who hit me actually asked if I even wanted to make a claim....ummm, lemme think...I'm 7mos pregnant and my 3 yr old car is all scratched up...what would you do?  Exactly.  I sat for an hour in 94 degree weather waiting on the very unfriendly police to get finished, who so nicely said, "You can pick up the report Thurs.  It'll be $8." 

While waiting, I called my Ob's office and if you've been prego before, you know what I was told:  Go to the ER.  Yeah for me!  So I spent 5 hours in the ER last night and had two episodes of terrible contractions.  Like, made me cry a little contractions.  Not cool.  I was finally told that I was dehydrated (what??? I'd been drinking --not drinking--all day), hadn't eaten in several hours, stressed, and had a UTI (fun, fun!) and that was probably why I was having contractions.  They kept acting like my blood pressure was a big deal, but honestly, whose blood pressure isn't a little high after a car accident, let along while 7 mos prego?! 

I had a lot of pain last night, and more this morning, but after extra rest and water, things seem to be much better.  I just don't remember my stomach feeling this heavy so early on in pregnancy, but it makes it difficult to move.  And, I really have no desire to get my work done.  I've finally reached the point where I'm thinking, "Ughh.  I've taken on too much."  Really, Einstein?  lol  I'm sooo looking forward to Christmas! 

Girls, Girls, Girls

Here are the latest u/s pics...

Even though I haven't been exactly happy with the ultrasounds at this office (they are soooo much blurrier than my other ones), I love this one because of the little arms rubbing her face:

And yes, I did say "her face" because...it's a girl:

I know S & I both believed it would be a boy, and we both wanted a boy, but the Lord has a way of working things out for our good, unbeknownst to us.  I prayed before this u/s that I would definitely know one way or another, and although the tech previously said there are "no 100%s," she said it is definitely (even used my word) a girl. Approx. weight at 27 wks and 3 days:  2 lbs 10 oz.  I have an actual doctor's appt next Friday, at which I'll have the yucky bloodwork and glucose screening (chances of passing since I failed the other two:  slim to none).

Here is our latest huge purchase.  My first carseat cost around $70.  However, they've made them smaller since (not good for a fam that has big babies), and they just don't pad very well.  Additionally, they make them so they don't fit in the top of grocery carts anymore (say what?  I know people say it's dangerous, but until it's law, I plan on holding onto the carseat while it's in the cart.  I have definite issues differentiating between a carseat up top and a 3 yr old boucing and trying to climb out--yet they are still allowed in it.  Ok, off my soapbox now...).  Long story short, this came in a travel system that I could only buy from Babies R Us.  I waited until they had a 20% off deal, and then I made the big purchase .  I also decided to teach a Sat morning class so I could make the purchase:

When we went to pick it up, an old man gave my girls $20 for their good behavior.  Say what?  I know, I'm just as surprised as you are.  See what happens when you don't hide amongst the shelves or climb on displays?  Personally, I think I should earn $20 just for not bringing them with me most of the time... j/k. 

So since we've accepted the fact that we're having another girl, S said the name is "all" me.  Not sure how I feel about that, but I do feel blessed that I won't have a child with the name of Frank--at least not at this time.  So, here are my name thoughts:

#1  Adalae Faith/Grace-- It's pronounced phonectically, so if you pronounced it Ad-uh-lay, kudos to you!  It means "noble kind [of] faith/grace" or "noble faith/grace."  S said there may be some lewd comments made about it, but I feel like most pople can turn anything lewd if that's their objective.  Thoughts? 

Other name options include Adaline and Auriella, but I'm not convinced about either of those.  I liked Everleigh, but that's how I arrived at Adalae.  I can also shorten it to Addy or Adly.  I always wanted a child with a "j" name like me, but I don't like any other "j" names for my daughter (please don't take offense if  you have a "j" name!). 

Please feel free to make a suggestion.  I did have a name list, but I've lost it, ironically now that we know what we're having.  Lovely is super excited to be getting another sister, so there's a plus :)  And now I get to go shopping for some super cute headbands and hats!  Little Treasures Consignment Sale, here I come!

DB Score and Monthly Appointment

Score!  I just ordered this diaper bag off Zulily for $34.99, orig. $80.  I've never seen it cheaper than $72!  I know it's a bit girly, but S said it wouldn't really matter (go figure).  I said I wouldn't order a hot pink diaper bag if I was having a boy and his exact response was:  "Why not?  Aren't you a hot pink mama?"  I think he's a bit giddy at this time of night. 

Speaking of the baby's sex.  The tech said it looks like...girl parts.  S doesn't believe her, of course, and it was very difficult to even get the slightest look from any angle.  You be the judge:

The legs are practically all the way closed (once again) and they're a bit in the way.  Also, since this isn't the entire pic, it leans more toward being a girl.  I have another u/s in 3 wks to check the spine since she couldn't get a good view of it. 

Blood pressure is still pretty good- 130/82, which is slightly high, but not abnormal for me.  I've gained 7 lbs total, but my ankles have begun to swell.  We went outlet shopping Sunday and I knew it was time to quit when I looked down at my ankles and only saw cankles! 

First Real Kick

I finally felt the first real kick on the outside of my belly yesterday--it bumped my hand into the air with extreme force!  Normally, I feel kicks throughout the day within my belly--especially between the hours of 12 and 1 a.m.  Uggh. 

I'm still waiting for the bridge/interstate construction to improve.  I need to go to Babies R Us, but I don't want to totally stress out getting there.  The plan:  decide on an infant car seat, a diaper bag, find crib rail protectors (?), and a lip for the changing table (?).  Those are the final "big" items on my list of needs--I'd also love a real rocker and a new playpen w/bassinet.  Otherwise, I need all the little stuff--bibs, blankets, washcloths, bath items, diapering needs, first aide, etc.

Louisville Nature Center and Accomplishments

The Louisville Nature Center, located next to the Louisville Zoo, was one of Snugglebug's last field trips of Kindergarten.  It's normally completely free, but I believe we were charged for some of the activities and gas for the bus.  Here is Snugglebug as I caught her grumping at the boy next to her, "YOU BROKE it!"  I was actually pleased that she was standing up for herself...

...And then she saw I was watching and put on her angel face.

The kids went around stamping animal prints to pieces of paper while examining fake and taxidermy animals. 

After lunch at the park...I couldn't get her down from the tree.

 

 

So I've been feeling quite inadequate lately after hearing about all the wonderful jobs/publishing opportunities others I went to grad school with are experiencing.  I often wonder, "Shouldn't I be making more time for this?  Why can't I find a job I'm happy with using my writing/editing skills?" 

And then I remember I have a job more important than anyone else.  I'm rearing two wonderful girls, with a baby on the way.  I'm providing the stability, the building blocks, of what their futures will become.  I'm instilling what's important in life, and what they can maybe go without.  I was most struck the other night when the girls were saying their prayers.  Snugglebug prayed that we would go to the fair soon.  After saying Amen, Lovely informed her that we don't NEED the fair--we can live without it.  

I read on a blog the other day that a certain mother only had nine summers left with her kids.  I have no idea how many summers/falls/winters/springs I have left with my kids, but I want to treasure them all.  Sure, I've felt overwhelmed and often depressed when the bills come due and I see no way of paying them with no end in sight.  I've wondered if I should break down and look harder for other work I can do.  But I don't want to miss out.  I don't want to miss the hugs and kisses I get when I pick my girls up from school.  I don't want to miss hearing them play in their room, discussing losing bunny powers from the Squishy Bunny Head, all because I'm either at work or too tired from work to hear.  Our house is tiny, bursting at the seams, and we need another vehicle for S to take the girls places once I have the baby, but all will be provided for.  And that's how I know my accomplishments aren't really inadequate--they're just dependent on God and what He provides for our needs.  

Chugging Along

I chugged along today, very slowly.  I didn't feel too well, so as S told me, just do one little thing at a time.  I finally finished washing the bassinet covering; it's yellowed a little bit in some places, but it's still adorable.  Then, I figured out how to put at least the top portion of the bassinet together--I seem to have lost the bottom portion!  So, as of now, it's a Moses basket. 

I've crossed off the major baby items I need, except for a car seat.  I think I've done well since it'll be 6.5 yrs since I've had a baby, but I figured I wouldn't get another shower, so I better take care of everything during yard sale/spring cleaning season! 

Lovely had her tonsils out last Thurs., and she is finally doing better, it seems.  She had to get sick to her stomach first this morning, but after that, she was talking more than I had heard her all week.  I think I recovered faster than she has, even though my surgery was as an adult.  Not sure why! 

I've been itching to go on a vacation, but since I know how many bills we have to pay, it's not going to happen, unfortunately.  It looks as if it will be at least 1.5 years between vacations since the girls' fall break falls right before my due date--a little late to go anywhere. 

I know this is so exciting to read, and I know the lack of pics makes it all the more, but it seems difficult just to get my thoughts in order these days.  I'm hoping typing some of them out will help me clear my head!  I am excited to finally receive the maternity clothes I ordered--turns out JC Penney and Sears no longer carry maternity clothes on this side of the river!  So, I ordered a top, a nightgown (both from Motherhood), and two jean skirts (from Style J).  Since that cost a fortune, I better not need any more clothes until after the baby is born!

Is It Time for School Yet?

My girls are out of school.  Can I send them back now?  I don't know if it's their closeness in age, but they sure know how to bicker!  I've told them several times now that they are not allowed to play with anyone else until they learn to play with each other.  So far, it hasn't worked too well.  

Yesterday felt like an extremely long day because I had no energy.  I cleaned up around my closet and a little in it, pitching everything I hadn't used/worn in the last few years.  It feels so good to see my floor again! 

We finally got our dog spayed on Tuesday, but it required driving in a torrential downpour (3 inches in an hour causes a whole lot of flooding).  Then, we had to get up early the next morning to pick her up.  She has to remain indoors for 7-10 days, and she is behaving sooo much better than she did a few months ago when she lived indoors.  My allergies were acting up terribly for having her indoors, and I don't really want her indoors a lot once we have a newborn, but she is acting sooo much better.  I haven't had to yell at her for jumping on anyone, and last night she was "herding" the girls around--very cute! 

Pregnancy update:  I lost another two pounds, which I can't figure out.  I'm not eating that great because I finally feel like eating--so I eat what sounds good.  I couldn't have pizza or garlic with my first two pregnancies, but this kids seems to like that kind of stuff.  No, I don't overeat it, but it's nice to be able to eat a little! 

I'm thinking of beginning a hat for one of my friend's babies, and then making one of my own.  I think I'll do the monkey hat again, with some alterations.  I didn't like how it just tied with yarn, so I'm going to crochet two flaps and add Velcro so no tying will be necessary.  I do have some clothes I have to mend, so perhaps I'll begin that today.  I also need to work on rearranging the office again and writing.  Now, to dig up the energy!

A Flutterin' Goin' On

According to the doc, I'll be 15 wks Friday.  According to me--it'll get here when it gets here.  However, I began feeling fluttering/little bubbles (not the gas kind!) tonight, which is kind of exciting!

Today was the awards ceremony at my daughters' school.  Lovely got seven awards, along with a medal she will receive soon for the all A honor roll.  Go Lovely!  However, she was still recommended for the two-week summer school session for those with lower standardized test grades and teacher recommendation.  Honestly, I have no idea what she scored because her school never gives you that info--something that gets really annoying.  Also, she reads wonderfully (it is for reading) at home--so much better than previously.  However, she acts shy at school and doesn't want to answer anything, so I just don't see her having a problem.  She cried when I told her about the letter, so S and I decided not to send her--we'll work with her at home, one-on-one.  I had already planned on doing this, but I'll be a little more dedicated now.

Snugglebug recieved three awards, which she complained about, but I told her Lovely only got one last year in K, so be happy.  And she was.

What have you been awarded lately?  Or what should you be awarded for?

A New Week, A Dirty Wall

Monday already.  It's the last week of the girls' school, and a busy one at that!  Lovely has "Muffins with Dad" tomorrow for an early Father's Day treat.  I laughed (as anyone who knows S would) when I found out it begins at 8:35 a.m.!  Two field trips for Snugglebug, which I'm going on--one to the Louisville Nature Center and one to Henry's Ark.  I sub the other two day's for Lovely's class, which includes an awards ceremony for the school and early dismissal the other day.  Woo!  I'm already tuckered out! 

Speaking of tuckered out, I am finally getting my energy back.  Hallelujah!  And, I'm not nearly as bleck feeling as previously.  I've had several good days, actually.  In fact, I don't ever remember feeling this good during pregnancy with the girls!  So, other than getting up every 1-2 hours each night for the bathroom, I'm doing well! 

I'm in the process of cleaning the office (once again--it is my greatest nemesis).  I bought a crib & dresser/changing table Friday, both of which are piled up in my living room.  I'd like to get at least the dresser in the office and out of the way.  However, I discovered lots of little doodles on the wall, courtesy of my darlings.  Magic Eraser, I'm coming for you. 

I'd like to get a lot of projects finished this summer and maybe make a few gifts and a few things for the baby.  I never sewed for one of my own babies, so this will be new!  I'll probably take up the crocheting needles again as well, so I'll likely be glued to YouTube to refresh my stitches. 

I still have to plan my classes for the fall, but I haven't even received my teaching contract yet.  I'd really like to get the syllabi and class assignments out of the way, though.  I'd also like to take up writing again.  I hate to admit it, but I still haven't submitted my culminating project from grad school to any journals yet.  Fear of rejections rekindles itself.  It's difficult because although I was always told how wonderfully I write by my instructors and my CP advisor, I never get called back for any editing jobs and the two times I've submitted for publication = rejection.  I know there are a lot of wonderful writers out there, so I always feel lost in the crowd.  However, persistence is a requirement of the writing field, and so I must muster some dedication, drive, and thick skin. 

I Don't Know About This...

As I lay in bed lastnight, I thoughtfully spoke the words, "You know, I've never liked being pregnant."  Who's with me?  Not that I would want to be not pregnant; I'm just the type who would like to, as I told my husband, lay an egg and sit on it for nine months instead of experiencing all of the nausea and uncomfortableness of pregnancy.  Again, I am thankful for what I am and what I have, but the egg thing has a nice ring to it.  In response, S said, "What do you mean I can't take it with me everywhere?"  So, I concluded that someone would have to come up with an egg-carrying contraption if this was the given method of procreation.  Surely, someone would create a real "fanny pack" for nesting, right?

Ok, perhaps I'm just being ridiculous right now.  I subbed kindergarten today, and I will tomorrow as well, and let's just say the children are a bit of a handful at the end of the year.  Quite a bit.  Also, I feel more "bleck" at night now.  Yes, "morning sickness" morphs throughout my pregnancy and so instead of feeling ill in the afternoons, it has now turned to evening/nights.  Perhaps it will eventually morph out?  I still feel ready to cry in despair when asked, "So, what are you hungry for?"  Truthfully, I'm not hungry for anything.  There are foods that I can stomach, and there are foods that I can't look at.  That's it.  And as much as I love the taste of Sunkist in all it's high fructose corn syrup glory, it makes me sick.  Go figure. 

So getting back to the phrase "I don't know about this," I was thinking of the little ole predictor that most girls I know have tried at one time or another--holding a ring on a necklace over your wrist to see how many children you'll have/what sex/age of mother at birth.  What?  You mean you haven't done such foolishness?  I used to amuse myself with it all the time.  In fact, it still shows girl, girl, boy, girl.  If I'm really at the "boy" stage, I told S that I really don't know about that last girl.  Now, this is all in fun and may or may not hold water (or break it!  haha...couldn't resist the pun).  I just pray my symptoms improve and this baby is healthy and strong.  T-5wks until the u/s. 

I've just discovered another pregnancy symptom:  rambling.  If you'll excuse me now...

2011 Top Baby Names

Not that I'm too influenced by pop culture or what is considered a "popular" name (Lovely's name was picked out long before it became popularized by TV shows), but I found my reaction to the top 10 2011 baby names, found here, interesting.  While I like/love/admire for someone else almost all the girl names, I don't care for most of the boy names.  Hmmm....

For boys:

• Jacob (I've known too many bad apples since I teach all grades)
• Mason (I always associate this with Masons, which leads me to "National Treasure."  While I enjoyed the movie, I don't want to think of Nicholas Cage when I look at my child--weird, I know.)
• William (OK, but only if you call him Will)
• Jayden (What?  I thought this was a girl's name...Guess I was wrong...)
• Noah (Cute, but white beards and balding heads are what comes to mind.)
• Michael (Again, too many bad apples.  Not always, but you know the saying about one bad apple...)
• Ethan (I'm OK with this one.  I used to...ummm...dislike it, but it's grown on me.  And I've known several good apples.)
• Alexander (My nephew's name, but I've always liked it.)
• Aiden (Ehhhh.  Just ehhhh.  Not bad, not good.)
• Daniel (Ehhhhhh.  More ehhhhhh.)

For girls:

• Sophia (Like)
• Isabella (Love--but too popular now)
• Emma (Love)
• Olivia (OK)
• Ava (Only for a movie star)
• Emily (Like)
• Abigail (Love)
• Madison (Ok)
• Mia (Ehhhhh)
• Chloe (Cute)

And now you can see why I haven't even considered names yet.  4.5 wks till the ultrasound, which means 4.5 more wks of burying my head in the sand!

Week 13

I believe I've told just about everyone that we're expecting now.  I normally tell around this time, and my belly can't hide it anyway!  I still haven't gained anything, and in fact, I had lost another pound at the last doctor's visit.  Also, my blood pressure is normal when I am not at the doctor's (a friend referred to this as "white coat hypertension"), so I don't have to go back until 16 wks.  I still have little desire to eat, and I'm having to force liquids down since lack of hydration causes...other problems.

I went yardsaling Sat., but only bought two little outfits, spending a total of $4.25 after 2.5 hours of shopping, 6 neighborhoods, and one church sale.  However, I went home that night and scanned Craigslist.  I happened upon this:

!

It's not super cutesy, but it's either-or and includes the valance, lamp, and diaper stacker.  I had actually picked it out weeks ago, so I was excited to find this.  I thought it would be quite fitting if we do have a boy.  I'm supposed to meet on Thurs. to pick this up.  Yes, I'm shopping early, but yard sale season is the best time to find deals, so I'm right there looking.  

Hope you have a wonderful week and let me know if you find any super yardsale deals!  Only 10 days of school left, also!  Woohoo!  Happy Mother's Day!  (I got a body pillow for Mother's Day--super woohoo!)

What I've Been Up To: Snugglebug's Six!

I decided to go all out for Snugglebug's 6th Birthday because  I've decided birthday parties will only happy every 2-3 years in order to give the Mommy time to recoup.  I let Snugglebug decide on what theme she wanted, and I took it from there.

Theme: Owls.  Night Owl Party, to be exact. I found this cute idea for an invite on Pinterest, located here.  Mine isn't quite as symmetrical, but it still came out pretty cute, I thought!  The wings are tacked on with tiny brads that once lost, will never be found.  I had no idea they could be made so small!

 This was the first time I attempted sculpting an animal from Rice Crispies covered in fondant.  I must say, it was sooo much fun!  Everything you see is a yummy buttercream fondant, except for the white base of the cake (and the lollipops, of course!). The basic owl design came from here.

When kids started arriving, Snugglebug started posing.

Here is the Owl Mask Making table.  There was also a ceramic owl painting table, but I wasn't sure if those kids' parents would want them on my blog.  I let Snugglebug invite four friends from class (1 didn't show) and I let Lovely invite two friends.  Then, we invited my mom's neighbor's girl (the party was in my mom's basement--not good for photo lighting!) and a family friend.  

Here is the Night Owl bed table, which you can find here.  I drew a headboard at the top and the kids sat on the floor around the "bed."  I placed napkins under plates, with clear silverware, empty goodie bags, and fancy plastic goblets I decorated with curly ribbon.  I also placed candy jewelry at each spot.

Snugglebug got some funky teeth as part of her present from me.

We had an egg hunt outside.

Then we hatched eggs for prizes (balloons filled with erasers and plastic rings).

Cake time! 

Gift time!  I always had the giver sit on the chair next to Snugglebug while gifts were opened. 

The beginning of Snugglebug's funky faces...

 

 

Notice the black feet?  My child NEVER wears shoes. 

Posing in front of the really bad, really fast owl cut out I made for the party to decorate the walls.  I had to use crayons...I'm embarrassed now...

Each child also received a handmade bookmark from the party.  Of course, it says Snugglebug's name at the bottom.

 

Updates

Cravings...there's nothing like fulfilling a food/drink craving you've had for several hours or several days.  Unless you can't figure out what you're craving.  That's me.  I just don't like eating/drinking right now because nothing is satisfying, and everything leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  Normal?  I don't remember this, so I don't know.  I craved root beer with Lovely (and gained about 35 lbs) and I craved Sunkist with Snugglebug (only gained 23 lbs--go figure).  This one?  Who knows!  Other than cheese (yes, I do like a good Colby Jack cheese right now), I'm craving...something...If you can tell me what it is, I'll clean your house for you.  Well, I'll think about cleaning your house for you, if my house is any indication of my cleaning prowess.  

Starting All Over

 Place:  Motherhood outlet in Indy 
 Lovely:  "Mommy, why does everything in here have this bump?" (points at mannequin)
Me:  "Because that's the kind of store it is."
Pause.
Lovely:  "But why are YOU in here then?"
Me:  "Because."
Lovely:  "Mommy!  Are you going to have a baby?"
Me:  "Maybe."
Lovely & Snugglebug whispering:  "Mommy is going to have a baby.  This is awesome!"
 Five minutes later.
 Lovely:  "Mommy, this is TERRIBLE!"
Me: "What?  Why?"
Lovely:  "A baby is going to keep me up nights with its crying."
Me:  ", you sleep like a rock.  Nothing is going to wake you."   
The title of this post is what keeps going through my mind:  I'll be starting all over.  I had finally moved past the diaper stage.  Lovely is almost out of her carseat.  And now:  starting all over. 

I normally didn't like to announce we're having a baby until after the first trimester, but I am now at 11 wks (although I look like I'm 20 wks!), and the cat seems to be out of the bag.  Hmm...this post may sound like I'm not happy, but really, I am.  I'm just nervous, which I attribute to being a bit older.   And knowing our house is entirely too small for all of us to live sanely.  There will be 6 1/2 yrs between Snugglebug and our newest, which seems like such a tremendous gap.  I had been under the impression that we just weren't going to have anymore children--which means we no longer have a crib, a carseat, a stroller, and numerous other baby items I had tired of storing.  I'm now 33, and I know there are plenty of mothers older than moi, I just feel...lol...old!  (shame on me, I know!)

I've decided I'll use my blog to document this pregnancy, praying it doesn't disappear.  I had kept an online journal through all of my pregnancy with Lovely--and the owner of the site transferred everything, happening to delete all of my posts . I barely wrote down anything with Snugglebug because I was too busy taking care of a 9 mo. old.  So, here goes!  

Current stats:
EDD:  November 16
Med Issues:  High blood pressure at last appt:  150/90.  However, I've taken it each morning & evening since and have not surpassed 133/82.  Thank goodness!  If I had high bp, I'd need to take meds, have weekly fetal stress tests at 32 wks and thereafter, and deliver 2 wks early.  Also, this will be my 3rd c-section.  There is one doctor in the entire area who is willing to do a VBAC after 2 c-sections, even though current research does not show a significant risk.  Anywho, he is in Louisville, and I must stay in S. Indiana this time around. 
Concerns:  I'm scheduled to teach three classes this fall.  I need the experience and the money, and since it's only 2 days a week, 5 hrs per day, I think I can handle it.  However, I'm not sure what I'll do for the few (approx. 5 days of classes) remaining after the birth. 
Predictions:  S told me (once again) that God told him we would have another baby, he just didn't know when.  This time, however, he was also told we'd have a boy.  I'm waiting and seeing.  I'm not eager to begin the battle of names that will ensue if we are having a boy. 

Columbus, Indiana

Because Snugglebug missed out on a field trip to Kids Commons in Columbus, Indiana, I decided to take both the girls myself.  It was a bit of a trip without another adult to talk with, but I couldn't think of anyone else who would be free to go that day, so anyways....

This is the main attraction.  A giant toilet that has a slide below.  The idea is to show the inner workings of a house, including insulation, and more.  They had a heat camera in one room that told you to rub your shirt so you can see the heat.  I won't tell you exactly where I rubbed, but I later found out people could have easily been watching on a screen located on the floor below.  Can we say embarrassing? ?

Below is a sliding portion of a wall that I thought would be so neat to put in a real house.  If we EVER get to move, that is. 

Bubble center.  Snugglebug became an expert bubble-blower, including creating a bubble that encased her entire body. 

Here is Snugglebug-Polar Bear.  She growled at everyone who tried to enter, including complete strangers.  Who said I needed a guard dog?

There was a cute campy scene for the girls to play.

And there was a Japanese house in which you could not wear shoes.  Very cute. 

 Before we went to Kids Commons, we stopped at a really neat soda/ice cream parlor a few stores down, Zaharakos

The girls were even enthused over the ladies' room tiles.  The food was a little pricey, but overall good quality.  Their cups of fruit really contained a huge assortment.  Their straws were made of paper, so it took a little getting used to, and the organ would play every now and then, making us feel like we were riding a carousel.  We filled up on lunch, but we went back a few hours later for ice cream.  MMmmmm...the strawberry milkshake was really good!

Dietary Changes, etc.

So this is what I'm trying first.  I bought it at Rainbow Blossom, where I was told I can return it within 60 days if it doesn't work.  Ok, this is Step #1. 

Step #2:  Cutting out red dyes/artificial colors.  This is a slow process because I just can't throw everything out of our house that has has artificial colors.  I also still need to research more foods that I can buy without them. 

Step #3:  Calm time before bed.  Earlier bedtime. 

Lovely already had limited dairy due to other digestive issues, so I haven't really changed this aspect of her diet.  Really, I do wonder if some of it is just emotional, such as not wanting people to "look" at her (which she's always had issues with), and thus she is zoning out during school.  However, she still enjoys parts of school, such as playing with her friends and art, music, P.E., Spanish, etc., during which she's totally there.  Perhaps she is just getting bored--who knows.  All I know is that homeschooling was next to impossible with her and I decided I didn't want to foster the type of relationship where I was mad and yelled all the time and she was stubborn or crying all the time.  Therefore, she's going to school for now, and we'll see how long it fits for us.  She's still getting excellent grades; she just doesn't volunteer in class (I'd be a hypocrite if I got too mad at her for not volunteering since I never did until college).  I am a little confused, however, because I've heard her read compared to other kids who are supposedly in more advanced reading groups, and oft times, she reads more fluently.  Maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see.  Time will tell. 

In other news, Snugglebug was given the option of retesting for her 10-word colors spelling test (keep in mind, she's in Kindergarten and she had the following words:  blue, orange, red, brown, black, white, yellow, purple, pink, and green).  Some of the words are easy, but some are pretty difficult for this age.  Anyway, I told her she got a B- on the spelling test, and I asked her if she wanted to retake it.  Her response:  "Ummmm.  B- is close to an A."  Way to go, my little overachiever! 

Happenings

So what we all hear about happening happened.  I've been talking back and forth to Lovely's teacher because Lovely:

• Is always the last to finish her school work, and is therefore always working during snack break, etc. (I remember this problem when we homeschooled.)
• Is always tired in class, and tries to put her head down.
• Often doesn't even know the question being asked, let alone the answer.
• Has no clue how to do a process that they've been doing all year in school.

In addition, she:

• Will stare directly at you and not hear/understand a word you are saying.
• Is easily distracted.  

Her grades are pretty good, but she does have some anxiety for tests (who doesn't?).  Her teacher suggested I take her to the doctor to see if something is making her extremely tired.  Her teacher is a good teacher, and she is in a very good class.  They do fun projects in school all the time, so it's not a boring environment (I've subbed it). 

We walked in, in two minutes I was told it could be ADHD, and I was asked if I'd like some medication.  I told him I hadn't explored my alternatives and he said, "There are no alternatives."  What?!!  Not only that, but I was told most places that test for ADHD don't accept our insurance, and those that do just let you walk in, say your child has it, and then you walk out.  What?!!  Seriously? 

So anyway, I had already thought it could be ADD inattentiveness (b/c of the trials I had homeschooling her and her current behavior), but I'm just not ready to medicate my child without more research and looking into all alternatives--and yes, there are alternatives.  More to come...I just had to put my thoughts in order for now!

Sugarbush 2012

We finally made it!  We attempted treking through the sludge of last year's maple syrup festival in Salem, but the mud was just too deep to even park.  This year, I picked a sunny, dry day that was practically wind-free.  It was a beautiful day!

Before I show all my pretty iPod pics that are ever-so grainy, let me say I never thought I'd go to a "maple syrup festival."  Seriously?  I was a city girl from Arizona, so what on earth is a maple syrup festival?  Do we sit around, admiring the leaves and gorgeous amber bottles?  (Actually, that is part of it, but only part...)

S enjoyed the tomahawk throwing, and nailed it all three times.  Knife throwing?  Not as good quite so fast, but he does pick up dangerous weaponry sports quickly (wonder what he could do with a lance?). 

It took forever to get Lovely to even look at my camera with the monstrosity that was on her face.  Child's plate of waffle w/ strawberry, syrup, chocolate chips, and whipped cream, plus a drink?  $3.50.  Unless you're 5 or under; then it's free :) 

This was my dessert:

There were plenty of vendors to explore and demonstration stands set-up.  The smoke was getting to Snugglebug's eyes, though:

A giant stack of hay bales awaited the children, begging to be built into tunnels and forts...The children answered the call. 

And last but not least.  Snugglebug's maple cotton candy 'stache.  Oh-so-stylish, and a downright hoot!

In the end, we bought a few bottles of syrup, two bags of cotton candy (so yummy without the overly sweet aftertaste of regular cotton candy), a jar of maple sugar, two bags of maple candy:  peanut and almond, two jars of local honey, and a jar of yummy pizza sauce (not maple, of course).  My dinner was good, but I recommend getting there before 2 p.m. because I bought the very last chicken dinner.  They ran out of beans after my plate as well, and they were already out of rolls and ice-cream dessert.  There are only port-a-potties to use, but for the life of me, I'm not sure I want to know how they got them smelling like maple syrup, too .  

This is a definite find that I hope to do again.  The Sugarbush festival will resume for it's final weekend next weekend, so get out and try it if you have some time!  It's awesome family fun with lots of kids' activities (including a covered wagon ride that my girls loved).